What really is a nice girl? Is this limited to girls who frequently smile all the time, girls who are outgoing, girls who are popular and socially connected? Are nice girls free from mistakes? These are typical characteristics of what most may think is a nice girl, but I would like to challenge this ideal. All girls are nice girls! All girls truly want to be kind even when their behavior does not reflect kindness.

There is a huge focus on bullying; where we often vilifying the bully while victimizing the bullied. But who wants to be the villain or the victim?

Let’s attempt to alter our perception a little, and imagine the vicious bully as a nice girl. Lets imagine that her behavior is simply an emotional reaction to something stressful she is facing in another area of her life. The only way she knows how to cope with her stress is to inflict pain on others, be disruptive and impede on the happiness of others.

Now the goal here is to realize, as the person being “bullied” by the “bully” that the bully is not simply hurting you because of you. The bully is merely reacting to her own pain, and for whatever reason you happen to be her target.

How can we solve this situation? My resolution is empathy! Having the strength and courage to “put yourself in that person shoes,” and try to understand why this girl may be acting in a way that does not exemplify kindness.

This is tough, I know!

Most people’s initial reaction is to make an incident all about themselves, but I encourage you to put yourself aside for a moment and practice empathy. Remove yourself from victimhood and become a compassionate individual that has the strength to exercise understanding and kindness.

Practice altering your perception on things. View situations from different angles and turn occurrences inside out to get to the definitive why. Ask yourself, why is this girl not being the nice girl that she truly is? Instead of, why is she always bullying ME?

Every girls is a nice girl, some may just need to empower themselves to be kind.